How to Play WoW Good

[Gusy]

For those new to WoW*, I am providing a quick getting started guide, primarily geared towards those who want to jump in and start PvPing right away. Here goes.

*(WoW means World of Warcraft, I am not like saying “Wow, this is so cool!” or something.)

Race Selection

Unfortunately, just like in real life, skin color has a big effect on how others treat you. For the beginner, I recommend choosing either green or furry colored. I’ve noticed that those with green or furry colored skin are usually very happy. Once you are more advanced and make an alt you can make a blue or violet skinned guy, but it may not be as much fun. As you play you’ll notice that a significant proportion of the blue and violet skinned population are very unhappy. You don’t want to be unhappy do you? Whatever you do, do not make a character with pink or otherwise fleshy colored skin. This is a sure way to end up bored and unhappy.

Class Selection

Pick rogue.

On-Screen Elements

Here is a brief description of each of the most important elements of the WoW UI (user interface, I’m not French ok).

This is your map window. It is for finding your body when you die.



This is your life bar so that you know when you are dead.



This is your “punch that guy” button. I’m not sure why it looks like a sword. WoW is very buggy as you’ll see. You only have to click this once per guy, so it’s not as difficult as it sounds.



This is your guy. I’m not sure what he is for but mine is bugged at the moment. It says I have a red sword and red shorts. In fact, only my shirt is red. Hopefully the developers are working on that.



This is your chat window. It is for making friends of course!



The Game

If you are an orc*, you start out in a small town called Winterspring. It is very beautiful with big trees and plenty of snow. There are many fun things to do in Winterspring as well as many dangers. One negative is that there aren’t many monsters that you can kill at first, but in WoW, if you like to kill monsters, people call you a bluebie (blue as in sad), and that is a bad thing to be called, let me tell you, so don’t worry too much about that.



*at first I thought I was an Ogre. Luckily someone clued me in before I made an ass of myself.



One thing Winterspring has plenty of is PvP. I’ll give you a couple of tips to help you on your way to becoming a redbie. I’ve really just started though so you may want to ask some of the oldbies in the guild for some tips once you’ve outgrown this guide.

The first PvP move you need to learn is the face-punch. This entails running up to someone and punching them squarely in the face. This move works so well because no one ever seems to expect it.



The best time to do this is while your opponent is busy typing. Most of the other team are really bad typists and you can barely understand them sometimes, but they like to type a lot.

One I usually do understand is “laughs at you”. They type that to indicate they are ready to fight.



Variations on the face-punch include the back-of-the-head-punch, and the run-around-as-much-as-you-can-while-constantly-punching-from-all-sides. Since these are static pictures you can only see one damage number at a time but in the game it looks much more like this.



I get killed a lot but often I scare them so much that they begin quickly backing away. Then once they have regained some health they “laughs at you” to indicate they are now ready. Some get so scared that they immediately jump on their horses and run away. It is best not to chase them too far or a monster might jump in to help them. Probably by the time you get a horse you’ve got plenty of monster faction. (faction means friendliness) Besides, you’ve scared them off. That’s as good as killing them in my opinion.



Another thing I like to do is punch them right in the face while thy are drinking a glass of water. That makes them spill their drink and then they stand up all like "whaaa!"

In the beginning it is very hard to kill someone alone, so if you can get some friends to help you, go ahead. Group PvP is the funnest part of WoW. Don’t feel bad ganging up on someone as the other team will often need to gang up on you in order to kill you.



Whatever you do though, don’t step in the hot lava. It makes you die instantly and is usually how I die in group PvP.



Also I die a lot to tiny wizards, for some reason they are very trigger happy, and they never ever laugh. Keep this in mind when making your alt. Do not make a tiny wizard as you will probably not laugh and enjoy the game much. This might be related to the fact that most tiny guys are pinkish, like little pinkish Gary Colemans.



Another thing you need to remember is that if you punch people in the city the guards will punch you. If the person you punched punches you back, the guards punch them too, though usually not till you’re dead. The guards are very finicky about who they like most, so I just try to punch as many people as I can when I’m in town. It makes me get better at PvP regardless. My friends mostly think its cool when I punch people in town too. Often the people I punch hit me back almost like it was automatic. Then the guards chase them out of town where my friends are waiting. I make a lot of friends this way.



The most important thing to do in WoW is try to have fun while punching people and to make lots of good friends. I hope this guide helped!

[Jynxe]

That's an excellent write up. I have it bookmarked and set to my homepage so I may study it often. I hope to pass this inforation on to my "faction" (they're not very friendly though) in hope that we may one day win AV.
Best PvP write up ever. Bravo.

[Gaston]

I believe that there is a good/evil Tiny Wizard dichotomy. This dichotomy consists of Gary Coleman Tiny Wizards and Tiny Emmanuel Lewis Wizards.

I thought I saw a 4 in your picture of all the numbers and was going to congratulate you on your first critical punch, but then I realized it was merely a 2 crossing over a 1 and was let down.

[Mawdryn]

I actually have a 2nd level Warlock on Bonechewer named Garycoleman. Would you like to sign his guild charter so he can look like this?:

Garycoleman
<NAMBLA>

I can't get anyone to sign donkeyraypingshiiteaters

gl with nambla tho

hmmm...Quite a good guide! I can use it as e-toilet paper! w0000t!

now thanks to NA i know why alliance sucks, they must follow this.
but to make you guys laugh heres a better review.
this guide was written for horde, thus alliance doesnt understand it because they cant read or type as well as horde, so they are confused and laugh to much. possibly the punches to there faces have made them retarded.

now thanks to NA i know why alliance sucks, they must follow this.
but to make you guys laugh heres a better review.
this guide was written for horde, thus alliance doesnt understand it because they cant read or type as well as horde, so they are confused and laugh to much. possibly the punches to there faces have made them retarded.

Originally Posted by Robert

now thanks to NA i know why alliance sucks, they must follow this.
but to make you guys laugh heres a better review.
this guide was written for horde, thus alliance doesnt understand it because they cant read or type as well as horde, so they are confused and laugh to much. possibly the punches to there faces have made them retarded.

LAWLERCOPTERS!

Its probably true...most alliance players are under the age of 18 and are practically vegetables

Originally Posted by Unregistered

LAWLERCOPTERS!

Its probably true...most alliance players are under the age of 18 and are practically vegetables

Hey i play as alliance (lvl 60 human warlock and lvl 52 NE hunter) and im 26 years old with an I.Q. of 134...
if i seem stupid to you horde, it's just cause it's fun to play dumb and see how easy it is to get you to sink down to my level and punch me in the face.
if i knew all it took is to laugh at you i would've done that alot sooner HAHA

on a side note: i like vegetables, carrots are my favorite.

I suggest you be retested. It sounds like 134 might be pushing it a smidge.

Ok, face it, in real life you are a person, you should make your character try to look lioke you, the people who say alliance sucks are practically retarted, if a war like that were to happen, the horde would massacre your family, and you can't speak there language DUH! most people who pick horde are under the ages of 14, so you are basically a hipocrit if you insult the alliance you jack asses.

and, the remark about human vegetables is quite rude, someone who insults them has sunken and will probably sink even lower.

Face it, most children choose Horde, it's almost a fact, you all (excluding the ones who don't make fun of the alliance) are smart, infact I use alliance characters, and I am probably smarter than most people who use Horde Characters, Don't think SO? if you can read the following without difficulty you are just as smart as me (proven so far):

fi yuo cna raed tihs,
yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too!
Cna yuo raed tihs?
Olny 55 plepoe can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd
waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the
hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the
ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is
taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can
sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the
huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but
the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas
tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! hdore scuk hhaa dmub asess

134 is not pushing it, it is underdoing it, he or she is probably smarter than you, ok so the people who use horde are just want-to-bes horde is messed up really really bad.

Thats the most stupid bullcrap ive ever read u must be retarded or somehow out of ur mind. Id bet ur 2 dumb to piss either...

some1 whos that stuid shouldnt be allowed to post guides or even anything in the internet

hope ull never do that again stupid moron

[Deafdumbandblind]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Thats the most stupid bullcrap ive ever read u must be retarded or somehow out of ur mind. Id bet ur 2 dumb to piss either...

some1 whos that stuid shouldnt be allowed to post guides or even anything in the internet

hope ull never do that again stupid moron

Unregistered posts...LOLZ! What value!!

[Mordiceius]

I think they need to meet Minkiebootle

[mven]

...

[Getpaid]

OMFGROFLMFAO!!!! I cannot believe I just read these replies... Gimme a second, I think I just pissed myself a little...

...ok better. THIS! THIS is the reason I don't play alliance. Every last defensive little shit that posted a reply "Defending the honor of the Alliance!" is a 12 year old that is lucky to have grown his/her first pubic hair.

Horde doesn't just bash on Alliance. We bash on EVERYONE. I hate half the horde I play with as well as the alliance on my server. I also respect a good handful of the Alliance players on my server also. I know, I know, The Horde has barrens chat which clearly proves that we do in fact have some immature players. But at least we don't create characters to take off their starter sets of gear and prance around /flirting with every female toon in the game. Well, maybe some do. My point is, there's gamers and there's the obsessive "WoW IS RL!!" gamers. I wont play Alliance because I can't see playing with anyone who takes this shit too seriously. And it seems that there's a larger majority on the other faction, so I'll just avoid it.

WOW! I could sit here and quote most of these replies, but I haven't slept in a couple days and could use a nap.

Disregard that. I need to say something.
I 'love' the "WE'RE BETTER THAN YOU!" arguements. If you have something legit to argue then say it. Don't say that Alliance is better "because we look human." And "If a RL war broke out all the little kids would chose the Horde side." WTF kinda bullshit is that? Are you seriously relating WoW with RL? If so, then I suppose I could assume that you were saying YOU would chose the Horde side? - but that wouldn't make sense because you were arguing for the Alliance side...bah! w/e

Sorry for venting openly like that...
Maybe I have rage issues and should see someone. I just really hate stupid people with retarded arguements. PLEASE just PLEASE don't open your fucking mouth unless you have something competent to say. ALL STUPID PEOPLE NEED TO DIE! /end rant

Love you guys!

[Deafdumbandblind]

Dude, L2love Unregistered posts. They are a limitless source of amusement.

If you scare them off we will inevitably turn on ourselves like some type of animal whose name escapes me but does the whole cannibalism-thing when there's no other food source.

It's just a game, we play wow, Horde hates Alliance, Alliance hates Horde. The way the game is set up, each side hates each other...It's a fact.

I personally like playing on the alliance side because thats what I started out playing. I know all the quests...I can lvl to 70 in a few weeks. Nothing to it.

Alliance has a bunch of immature little kiddies running around slapping each others naked asses in Stormwind, I will admit. But just like the Horde side, we are not all that way. From looking at the statistics, I think there are about 34% horde - 66% alliance on the Uldaman server, which is a relatively new server. Thus, the alliance has a larger pot of people to play with, guild up with, group with on quests, ect ect.

I think it's funny at best when I see people of any age, or orientation argue about which side is better. There is no better side. The side you enjoy is your personal preference...That's the bottom line.

-Dusty
70 Warrior - Full prot

As for the guide up top...

I hate how everybody in pvp thinks that rogues just pwn all...They don't..

My twink 19 hunter has never lost to another rogue. Not saying he is the best twink out there...But seriously, Rogues have weaknesses just like every other class. Slow them down and run away. If you kite them around, you can kill a rogue without them even hitting you.

The best advice I can give for pvp is to not do it untill you have lots of extra gold to spend and you have the best gear you can have at your lvl. Twinks are really the only way to have a blast in pvp...IMO

[mven]

Like zomg. Everyone knows horde is blizzard's favorite which is why they are overpowered.

LoL

Horde get a little tent and a campfire while alliance get castles and a nice town.

Im thinking about going to aliance ive been it before jsut that aliance sucks at pvp and nowone can beat me so im rolin ac so i can own some decent players.

NiNija-53 blood elf rogue
HatoUP-70 orc warrior
Priestofhope-60 night elf priest (deleted so i rolled horde since its a pvp server)
Mageofhope-level 43 human mage
bunch of level 30s on a bunch of servers that i abandened :-(

Willie Masconi used to play pool with a broomstick handle, before he was to become the master he eventually became. Point being, take what you've been given and learn to master your passion, regardless what it is. Lets take that thought and apply it to WoW for a second. Believe it or not folks, your PvP skills or PvE skills having absolutely nothing to do with how many 14 year old kids play on your server, SHOCKER!! ...I know. And guess what folks, the Horde are not overpowered, more than likely you just suck, SHOCKER!! Stop playing the blame game, if you get owned alot, STEP YO GAME UP!!! (As with any aspect of life, but you already knew that didnt you

Peace ~C

Ive been looking around trying to decide if i should buy this game, all i had to go on was a few clips from youtube so thank f**k i came across this website. Ima stay clear of it, apart from a few post i read you all just seem to complain about the game and the people that play it. Why play a game that frustrates you, and if you do enjoy it, why complain about it........ Ima stick to BF2. Atleast i saved a few $$$ lol

ok wtf? you just said that you start out in winterspring? wth r u talking about that is a level 55-60 zone... what were u smoking when u made this?

[Mordiceius]

LULZ

[Reygar]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

ok wtf? you just said that you start out in winterspring? wth r u talking about that is a level 55-60 zone... what were u smoking when u made this?

again...Unregistered FTW!!!... why don't these people realize that this site is not all serious.... i mean look at the links at the top of the screen...(rss || about || discuss || eat a dog's butt || MMORPG Addiction Help || What) if that's not a big enough clue, you are a lost cause. lol :axe:

[MadMommaMoo]

OMG. Best n00b PvP guide EVAAAR! ROFL (no...I really am...between typing words...okay, well, not really, I'm really just laughing in my chair, but I'm not sure of the acronym for that one, so...meh)

I think it was a hilarious guide... anyone who thinks this person is serious is retarded. It was just made to have a good laugh at.

yo i just read all of these and i have to say... that was funny. But anyway can someone give me some tips about WoW because i just started and im like lvl 4 so yea i need help. if you have a good site or just some tips from yourself please send them to skaterdude5153@yahoo.com oh yea and im 14.. so yea im not a little kid-ish i dont know lol well thanks

Anyone else fap to this guide?

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Ive been looking around trying to decide if i should buy this game, all i had to go on was a few clips from youtube so thank f**k i came across this website. Ima stay clear of it, apart from a few post i read you all just seem to complain about the game and the people that play it. Why play a game that frustrates you, and if you do enjoy it, why complain about it........ Ima stick to BF2. Atleast i saved a few $$$ lol

you play a game that frustrates you because then you are determined to achieve your objective... and in the end all these ppl love WOW...whichever side they play on.. it is fun to them... my opinion is ppl like games that frustrate them... it keeps them interested

i'm having so much fun just reading all this, by all means, continue on insulting each other!

[Aramiss]

Lol wow is a great game, gosh I wouldn't spend so much time on it if it wasn't (none of us would), I think the sheer numbers of people playing speak for themselves, but meh one less noob begging me for gold or run thrus is a good thing :0P
Yeah it gets frustrating at times, like running an instance for a bit of gear that drops after your 10th time, and some fool who cant use it ninjas it and leaves, but meh, shit happens, yah dont give up and run off in a hissy fit, cause that makes you an emo fool, but venting about it sure is fun :0D
As for the guide, loved it lol, anyone who thinks its serious is just too noobish for their own good lol
Loved the part with the starting area convo, loled so hard at the wow everythings good at axes bit :0D

WOW, I don't see what the argument about, you seem insulted by how stupid the guy is who wrote this guide, but personally i think it's the funniest guide I have ever read and I cant wait to log on and go around punching the alliance in the face! POW!

Originally Posted by Robert

now thanks to NA i know why alliance sucks, they must follow this.
but to make you guys laugh heres a better review.
this guide was written for horde, thus alliance doesnt understand it because they cant read or type as well as horde, so they are confused and laugh to much. possibly the punches to there faces have made them retarded.

[Acigaretteandsex]

Just now read that, I laughed incredibly hard. Ogre part rocks!